Can't they chill and let me be free?

[GoingForward]

We can agree to disagree . IMHO, this does go both ways.

You said this:

I did not expect him to do anything.

....then this immediately after:

Expectation was created when he expressly told me and my S more than once that HE was going to do something.

The expectation WAS there for H to show up. Understandable.

We did not seek him out nor did we invite him, he is solely to blame for this, not me.

I did not say you sought him out nor did I think it. However, you did continue to call him. I guess what I want to ask is why didn't you let it go then? He was at the card room. Remember - my H was big on gambling, too. So I KNOW when he would tell me, "I'll be there in an hour", it wasn't likely to happen. He was either going to show up on time or not.

Yes, your H does need to be made aware of the consequences of his actions, but really - how do the guilt trips make it any better? How does it bring you two closer together? It doesn't.

He chose gambling over time with the kids - he IS solely to blame for that, but you are responsible for the part that you play. The jabs that follow because you are upset and disappointed with his poor choices.

If H says he's going to do XYZ, say 'ok', and if for whatever reason he doesn't follow through, leave it be. Show him through your ACTIONS - NOT WORDS - that it's unacceptable. That is the only way he is going to get the picture, and I really don't think he's going to get it if he's told his actions are wrong, sarcastically or not. He needs to SEE what the true consequences of his actions are.