My 7 year old daughter called last night to wish me a Happy Haloween. Haloween was always a nice night for us, I would get home early from work and take her trick or treating. We would go house to house until about 9PM and then go home and sort our all her "goodies."
Unfortunately, she started crying last night saying how much she missed me, it broke my heart (again). I told her that everything was ok that I would see her on Friday and we would have a fantastic weekend together. I said, "Make a list of all the fun things you want to do and then give me a call and we can make a schedule." She seemed ok after that convo.
My ex and I then starting texting each other. No war, all good stuff. Both of us have come to the conclusion that our divorce could have been avoided. Our reconciliation was a disaster because neither of us were ready to live with one another. We should have taken more time and eased into the situation and spent our time together doing healthy fun activities with our daughter. I guess it is easy to look back.
It's interesting, my therapist and I agree that my wife may want to reconcile. I have no idea if we could make it work and it seems almost impossible, but she has been reaching out to me a lot. She also asked 2 weeks ago if I would move back into our home together until it sold. I told her I would have to give that a lot of thought and I was very concerned about the impact on our daughter.
Neither of us have said, "Let's get back together."
Why do you think she is taking this approach with me? I am confused.
I haven't posted to you, but for what it's worth, a pastor I listen to on the radio out of Fort Lauderdale, FL says that he keeps in his file drawers a file full of divorce decrees stapled to marriage certificates, from members of his church who have divorced and then remarried their exes.
I don't know, I suppose once you have 'lived' the reality of divorce you may see that the marriage wasn't as bad as you thought, or at least you wonder if you gave up too soon, if you could have tried harder? My H is wavering on whether he wants to file (I don't!) and I wonder if he does, if he won't feel like your wife may be feeling, someday...
I am sure it sucked not being with your daughter on Halloween. That is one of the many reminders you will have of how it "could have been" if you and W were still together.
If you are interested in trying again, I'd give more thought to living in your house again,,,although I can see how that could confuse your daughter if it didn't turn into a reconciliation...
I really do not know. I am happy that the divorce is final and I am almost ready to completely put this behind me. On the other hand, I really wish my ex and i could have made it work for our sake and for our daughter.
Just going to be cool and see where this goes.
Never thought that this would be an option. I actually have a date tonight!
I have to agree with Frank. She's feeling you out but you told her exactly what you needed to, to give it some serious thought. It's wise not to jump in and confuse your D. Not knowing your sitch, I just have a feeling there is a lot of work to be done to reconcile your R. You and your ex can still have a good R that is based on raising your D.
Do you feel that's it's "over"? I have read about couples that went through a divorce only to get back together a second time, remarry and stayed M. But ultimately it's what you want to do.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
Does she need financial support until the house is sold? Is she counting on you as if you were still married but no interest in a reconciliation? It happens... Wonder
That is very possible, I do believe that she is hitting hard times.
Thought a lot about this situation and I believe it is best to move on. As much as I love seeing my daughter every day I just do not see my ex wife and I spending the rest of our lives together. Too much damage was done.
On Saturday night I went out to dinner with a very nice girl. We really hit it off. A 3 hour dinner felt like 15 minutes. After our date I realized that the divorce may have been the best thing that ever happened to me. It has give me an opportunity to meet the right girl for me.
This girl is really sweet. My whole life I have gravitated towards drama queens... NEVER AGAIN! Nice, sweet and polite is for me!
Fish, take it real slow! I know you're sleeping on a buddy's couch and the idea of your family together again is incredibly attractive (as it should be) but "we just werent ready last time" is not convincing. What makes her ready now? I think you're asking that to. What will be different this time around? What did you do last time that you won't do this time? Think it through and go real slow. Re-read DB and I mean NOW! I also remember you have described your W as an "evil" person and said she had done many terrible things that you have just become aware of. Is that person not the same person you are considering going back to? What needs to be different for you? Lots of questions to consider here. I raise them because your family is so important and the best way to get it back is to take it slowly and make sure you're doing the right things. Don't be too eager but don't reject the idea of reconciliation out of hand either. Do this right! Keep us posted.
Once again the ex tried to deceive me! Last month she said several times that she paid off a credit card balance that was her responsibility. Called the card company yesterday and the check was never sent! I confronted her last night via text messaging and right away she tried to dodge the issue and then start turning things around. This was a timely reminder that there will be no reconciliation. This is a very disturbed woman who is unable to tell the truth or take responsibility for her actions.
What is wrong with these whackos that we married? The good news is that she is not my wife she is my EX-WIFE
