Just a few more things to think about( as if you don't have enough already - sorry). If her family is seeing the changes in her for themselves, then you don't need to say much of anything to them.
As far as the pa goes. Your w is not herself right now. She is in crisis. She is not sharing her true self with ANYONE at the moment. She is searching, she doesn't know who she is.The pa will almost always burn out.
When it comes to confronting her its your call. Ultimatums rarely work in this sitch. She will more than likely rebel. If she suspects you know already, then that is probably enough. Time to be distant,vague,"as if". Time for more 180's. Get out and be positive and try to separate yourself from all this BS.
Stop treating her like you can't be without her. You should still be kind and listen to her, but you have to be strong. She needs to see that you could very well move on and be just fine without her. There is a balance to this, still working on this myself.
There are a few things you have to ask yourself. No time limit here, so think it through and be careful who you talk to. Many people will give you advice based on themselves in a way. Their beliefs and experiences.
Can you forgive her and let this go? Are you willing to give this your all knowing full well things may not work out?
This is very slow, very slow. The most important thing you can do is to let her go. You have got to take care of you. She is not capable of being there for you right now.
Seems like the totally wrong thing to do, but you have to. This is tough and takes time. You will know when you are letting go for real. She won't always be on your mind, the things she says and does will not affect you like they have been.
You will focus on you and be more sure of yourself than ever before in your life. You will trust that no matter what, you will be ok.
It takes time to get there but you will. Keep focusing on the positives and don't beat yourself up if you slip. This is hard!
