Well, I think I have had major improvement in my sitch, which I think is positive for a change. This may be rather long so please bare with me. I want to get as much in here so you can give me your thoughts.
First a brief overview of my sitch, married 33 yrs. For 3 yrs. W works in another town and stayed there during the week and came home on weekends. 5 months age W tells that she has grown to much for our static relationship. She loves me, but not in love in with me, my anger has gotten too much for her and she want to pursue her career. She wants D, but not right away, but want to separate. We have some contact mostly semi-formal. Past 2 months communication and demeanor between has improved. I have been seeing C for weekly for all five months, she is not. I have read and practicing DB/DR. C tells me I have more improvement in myself than others she has seen in over 30 yrs.
Over the last 2 months I have invited W to a couple of family and social functions and has turn out well. We give each other hugs and kisses when arriving and leaving each other company, but nothing more friendly types. This last two days are deferent. At the beginning of the week W emails me and asked me if I would like to go to GS ballgame with her. This is the first invitation that she offers me and of course I accept. Later that day she calls me asking if she could spend the night. Once again I agree. I am not sure why she is making the overtures, but I am not going to let that stand in my way. I see this as a possible good thing. So I start to make special plans for our evening at home together. I am gambling that is will not push her away, I after the other functions; I felt I had better than even odds in my favor.
We meet at our house and drive to GS ball game together. Our conversation is limited to small talk about our jobs. After the ball game we return home. I first offer a glass of wine. That she accepts. I then set the stage; I lit ten candles that were on the fireplace. I turn on some very slow dancing music and asked her to dance. She loves to dance, but that was one of the thing s did not want us to do just after she drop the bomb. She jumped up and said that she would like to dance. The CD had 17 50s and 60s love songs on it. We did not stop dancing until the CD ended. We danced together like to young people in lust. The belt buckle shining and bumping and grinding type of dancing. She love every song on the CD.
We then took a break and I went in to the master bath and drew a hot tub of water added bubble bath, rose peddles, and two light stick to the bath water. I then place 15 candle around the tube and lit them, turn off the lights the tube glowed. I then Blindfold the W and walker in to the bedroom that had a trail of rose peddles lead from the door to the bathtub. She was overwhelmed; she had never had anything like this in her life. I left in the bathroom to undress and get in the tub. I brought her another glass of wine and her expression on her face was a surprise smile. I turn on the music again and left to soak for as long as she wished. When she was ready to get out I brought her two towels that I had warmed up in the close dryer. She found a satin nightgown and rub in her closet and put it on. It is the first time in years that she was able to wear it. She came back in the living room and we danced and cuddle on couch for another two hours. When it was time to go to bed she instead that we was to sleep in the extra bedroom and that if she came into my room later I was to turn her away. (You bet I would), but I agreed. By the way the bed she was sleeping in had rose peddles in it and on the floor. I had 3 candle lit setting in front of a marrow. It was so great to see her smile and make so soft sensual sounds of pleasure of what she had just experienced. NO SEX just dancing and cuddling.
The next day we went to the beach, another one of her favor it spots. Came home and we did night another night like we had before. Two night in a row!!!!! We did not do that when were married, if I had done this when before now I may not be here writing this down for your review,
We did talk about relationship; she is still not sure what she wants. And if she figures it out I may not want to be apart of that idea. I told her then that would be for me to decide. I also started wearing my wedding band, which I have not worn in many years. She was wearing her ring, She asked me of all of these years I just now started to wear it again. She wanted to tell to take it off. She also said that she was thinking taking hers ring off and now I am wearing mine. I told her that first we are still married. Secondly, I have made some bad mistakes over the years and I am trying to correct this one. And third, I want you to know that I am still committed to our relationship. I also told her she take her ring off, but I will not take mine off we sign the paper to our D, if that comes.
After all of this she will not allow me give a passionate kiss. Just pick on the cheek or the lips. After all of the belt buckle shining dancing and bumping and grinding with a satin nightgown no passionate kisses. I do not understand.
I know this was long, but for you to give some feed back I felt it need to be included. I she told me that she had a great time and enjoyed it immensely. She wants me to control myself and not take advantage of her. No passionate kissing, no sex (which I can understand her stopping it, but I am to be the one to hold myself back). She love the tub and the roses. She loved the dancing.
Next week we are going to a dinner and dancing black tie social event for my job. She is all excite about getting a new evening gown, having her make-up put on professionally and about going. One minute she is coming on and the next she is running away. I do not understand!!. I do feel like I am young kid again dating my high school prom queen. I haven't felt like this for years and years and years. Do you think she feel like the prom queen. I do not plan to contact her in any form until late next week. I think she need time to think about what happened the weekend. what do you think?
Please give me your feedback and comments. Thank you for taking so much of your time to read this and respond.
