Surrendering to hope

[AliSuddenly]

Hey ITH,
I'm so sorry for what is happening. You've been reading about all the changes going on now and I was really worried for you that something might burst through like this. Your H has been acting in a very passive aggressive way for a while. I do agree with Daisy, but you always rush to defend him.

You said in an earlier post that he had poked you.. I really thikn your H has some serious deep seated issues with love, giving and receiving love, intimacy, I dont know what.. but he is verbally abusive, I agree.

I'm so sorry you are in a state, but of course you are, after his tirade. You are only human, its counter productive to keep DBing when someone is talking ot you like that. Now is a time for honesty. You cant stop him wanting what he wants or doing what he needs to do by NOT saying things, or creeping in and out of the house and sitting in front of DVDs night after night not talking. I really am sorry, becuase he was cruel, I agree and I am sure its so hard for you right now and you must be upset.

I think its awful that he would tell you he is depressed becasue of being around you (BS, he has issues) and that he had to drink to get through the weekend.. it was his idea to go! He is emotionally immature and as everyone said to me ITH, ITS NOT YOU ITS HIM.

In terms of saving this M... you have to back off and give him what he wants or else this is only going to get worse. If you love him, set him free. I know its horrible and hard, but what choice do you have? All this at the moment is happening for a reason. I see so many peoples sitches coming to a head this weekend in one way or the other, but its not the end is it, its just change and a new way of doing things, a shift.

Look after yourself and dont beat yourself up for crying on him or begging and pleading, I would be the same and its totally understandable. We are all here for you, scant consolation I know.

Ali xxx