I found it helpful to not do so much "temperature-checking" with my wife. Just assume she's in "one of her moods," and if it's anything OTHER than that, not even read too much into THAT.
At first, there was a time where "bad = good" and "good = bad" applied, because it was a major clue as to whether or not she was in contact and getting OM fix. But once I KNEW they were in contact, and she wasn't even really denying it, I stopped trying to read her mood all the time.
It helped with my compassion toward her to think of her as ADDICTED.
