Trying2Live-Post #3

[Trying2live]

Ok so quick update, as I have jammed packed. H came over yesterday early and stayed from 12 to 10 PM. He cheated on OW again . LOL.
I full Plan A for the Surviving An Affair book. We had a really nice time yesterday. Nice conversation and relaxing time.

But I wanted to give you these most important tips for the day. Remember, I am abt 6 1/2 months in. I cut off 70% during the 1st 5 months to reduce the negativity. I did all of these things below, I hope it helps to have kinda a focus.

But these are the MOST important things I think that have helped me get this far. I have personally done all these. I think they exude confidence and I always kept in mind that my H already knows I want reconciliation, which most of them do.

1. Read Divorce Remedy
2. Read Surviving An Affair
3. Stop the chase IMMEDIATELY(calls, texts, email, etc)
4. Stop talking about the relationship(OW doesn't why R U?)
5. GAL HARD!!! Be creative, try dance lessons or something fun
6. 180 in as many areas as you can especially where H complained
7. Get a support group for people who agree with what your doing
8. Pray for your H and Pray for yourself
9. When passing off the kids be cheerful and very presentable
10. Do not talk about or bring up OW
11. Stop trying to be his conscience or reason(you cant he's fogged)even concerning kids. You'll keep hitting a block wall
12. You be the best parent you can until H de-fogs

These are the most important things to do and immediately.

I also stopped say I love you. He's my reason, and I found them in a book by a therapist and it makes a lot of sense.

Some of what they are thinking is: What? how can she love me? What does she mean by that? I she trying to make me feel guilty? What does she want when she says I love you? Does that just mean I can't live with out you? Is she crazy......

There are more but you get the idea, so I stopped say that 5 months ago and instead say, take care, have a good day or sign off emails with C'ya later, talk to ya soon, great hearing from you, {{hugs}} stuff like that.