Poet, I am happy to give you a quick update/summary. I know how you feel, sometimes I wish I could ask for a summary even after a few days!
OK... I am going to try to be really concise. If you want more info about any part of the story I am happy to give more details.
B and I were together for about 3 1/2 years in Boston (not married). In spring 2006 I auditioned for graduate school in Atlanta, he was very supportive, I thought everything would be fine. After I moved to ATL, he moved to NYC. Our first year of long distance was very stressful. We had many fights about planning when we would see each other and about sex. May/June 2007 things got worse, and in July he asked for a month long "break" with no contact. At the end of the break, the beginning of August 2007, we spent a week together and had many breakthroughs and I felt like we were amazing, solid, recommitted. Two months go by. In October 2007, while he was visiting me in ATL, he told me he thought we should break up. He cried like I have never seen anyone cry. AT the end of the visit he told me he needed a week to figure out what to do. A few days later he called and asks me for another month of no contact so he could make a decision whether or not he wants to be with me. This made me extremely panicked but I agree to it. During this time I start going to counseling and do massive soul-searching. Before the month is over he told me via webcam that he wanted to leave, he didn't love me anymore, and he didn't find me attractive anymore. I asked to be able to talk to him again in a few days, but I realized I didn't know what I wanted to say, so I left a voicemail saying I wasn't ready to talk, and I would contact him when I was ready to talk.
I started reading everything I could get my hands on, trying to figure out what possibly might help my situation, and I started going to therapy, which was extremely helpful. There was absolutely no contact whatsoever throughout nov, dec, jan, and feb. then towards the end of march, out of nowhere, he sent me a package containing his copy of my housekey and a note, "Transformer, Here is your key, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get it back to you. I hope you are doing well. B" or something like that.
I decided that maybe he was trying to reach out, and so I called and left a friendly message. He called me back, excited and happy, and we had a brief, positive friendly conversation. A few weeks later I call again, and we talk some more on the phone. There is also some intermmittent emailing. I hint that I will be in the NYC area in June, he hints back that he is interested in meeting, we ended up going out to dinner and also dessert. a week later I go to his solo bluegrass fiddling debut in NYC. more intermittent emailing and phone (I think almost all initiated by me, but very sporadically, like every 3 weeks or so). then in august we go out for lunch and he acts really weird. more intermittent emailing and phone.
