Ava, one of the hardest things I had to do was to forgive myself for the things I had done. It was immaturity and weakness but it was also allowing demons inside that never should have been allowed entrance. The void I felt was so large and as I tried desperately to fill it somehow, all I filled it with was alcohol and finally sex. I thought I had it all under control but as it grabbed and started to devour my soul, I no longer had any control at all. I wasn't even myself anymore.
I hated what I had become and worse I felt like I didn't deserve to have a beautiful life with a loving wife and family. I wasn't good enough for them and indeed I had turned into this horrible person that did little more than provide for them financially.
Until finally I saw the light and that all my problems were of my own doing. I had dug and thrown myself into a pit with no way out on my own. The turning point for me was when I asked for help to climb out of that pit. I needed God's help and also help from you all here. First I had to forgive myself for what I had done and then I could ask for and find the help that I needed.
Ava, he is crying out for help now. It may take some time before he will forgive himself for what he has done. Beating himself up won't get him out of his hole. Forgiving himself and making the changes in his life will. Hopefully he will ask for help as I did.
The past is gone the only thing that we can do is live in the here and now. Maybe he will realize this soon as you have Ava.
