Sol, what I've learned in my brief experiences with women since my separation is that when you get weird vibes, mixed messages or you feel that your needs aren't being met (e.g. the need to define the R) then disengage! If I too had listened to my gut rather than listened to that part of me that always wants to give people chances I'd have saved myself some pain. The good thing is that we DO recognize these indications, which means we aren't complete mental midgets, but how we choose to respond can create the difficulties. I know if I had of looked at the sitch with my Coffee Buddy and accepted how unlikely it was that my needs could be met in that sitch I would have walked and probably saved both of us some emotional pain. So, if you can recognize the bad stuff that is most likely coming and choose to avoid it, kudos to ya! When we are hurting we tend to make allowances for people's behaviour, pasts and/or situations etc that we probably shouldn't and we end up getting hurt at times we are way too vulnerable to take that kind of chance. This, of course, doesn't make her a bad person but just someone who isn't right for you.
