2008 = Crazy Year (Fiery 15)

[Puppy Dog Tails]

One more thing... W's behavior with K's makes me want to puke! 9 days away and she is being sooooooo sweet just as S&S predicted!

Yep. I used to call mine the "St. Sally" routine (only my wife's name's not Sally). She would even use a different VOICE . . . one that I'd never heard before. It creeped me out. A syrupy-sweet, "Boys, Mommy made homemade chocolate chip cookies! Come down and get some while they're still warm!"

Blcccch.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Thanks. I will stay the course, but sometimes I wonder what good it is doing. It is pi$$ing her off, but what else???

The good it is doing is, it is doing no harm, for starters. The Hyppocratic Oath! But even moreso, it is the CORRECT position. Having taken ground, sometimes the best move is to HOLD the ground.

Or, as Coach and Mules would say, you've driven from your own 5 all the way down the field to within field-goal position. It's time to run some clock and don't give the ball away. Keep it between the hash marks for now; it's not yet time to score, and you DAMNED sure don't want to put it up in the air and let HER run it back for a pick-6!

Puppy

[carpenter54]

My W does the 50 kisses on the kids cheeks while saying. I luv ya I luv ya I luv ya about as many times.

[karen43]

Okay, I know you're on the witches, but my H has been doing this too. Trying to be the perfect dad, starting to get involved with them. My C thinks, and I agree, that this is a ploy to try to get full custody or as close as he can and $$$ motivated. I worry about what will happen after D and he isn't as $$$ motivated to be with the kids. To me that's the worst thing about some of these WAS is that they're hurting the kids and don't seem to realize it. Karen

[carpenter54]

My W has told me that all the good things I do make her look bad. It appears that both sides have their gripes when it comes to this kinda stuff. I am not saying that I am "super dad" or that I NEVER did anything good or fun.

Lemme throw this out there....right now both spouses actions are under the microscope so eveything is magnified 100x. Kinda makes sense when you step back and look at it like that.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Good point, 54.

[lost_in_space]

Thanks. I will stay the course, but sometimes I wonder what good it is doing. It is pi$$ing her off, but what else???

The good it is doing is, it is doing no harm, for starters. The Hyppocratic Oath! But even moreso, it is the CORRECT position. Having taken ground, sometimes the best move is to HOLD the ground.

Or, as Coach and Mules would say, you've driven from your own 5 all the way down the field to within field-goal position. It's time to run some clock and don't give the ball away. Keep it between the hash marks for now; it's not yet time to score, and you DAMNED sure don't want to put it up in the air and let HER run it back for a pick-6!

Puppy

Puppy,
I like the analogy. My problem is she seems to have an unlimited supply of time outs to frustrate the sitch.

Today, as an example, I go to the gym this morning. When I get home she is gone somewhere. She calls here - I answer.

W: Can I talk to D16 please?
Me: She's not home
W: ok bye (and hangs up)

Oh well... not a big thing, and pi$$ed me off more than bothered me. I just cannot believe that she could be soooooooo angry with me. Don't understand - but I guess I am not supposed to. You would almost think that I am the one that had the A and wanted out... But really, nothing has changed I suppose.

I will keep the ball on the ground and use all 4 downs (even though we only get 3 here in Canada) to maintain ball control. Not sure if I see the defense confused - is that why so many time outs? Oh well, we have a game plan and have come this far...

I think I just rambled...

[lost_in_space]

Okay, I know you're on the witches, but my H has been doing this too. Trying to be the perfect dad, starting to get involved with them. My C thinks, and I agree, that this is a ploy to try to get full custody or as close as he can and $$$ motivated. I worry about what will happen after D and he isn't as $$$ motivated to be with the kids. To me that's the worst thing about some of these WAS is that they're hurting the kids and don't seem to realize it. Karen

(((Karen))),
I think the same. My W is worried that I will go for full custody - so I can see her doing the St. Mommy routine - but WHEN IT IS CONVENIENT FOR HER! The K's need their mom, but not only when it fits her schedule.

[lost_in_space]

My W has told me that all the good things I do make her look bad. It appears that both sides have their gripes when it comes to this kinda stuff. I am not saying that I am "super dad" or that I NEVER did anything good or fun.

Lemme throw this out there....right now both spouses actions are under the microscope so eveything is magnified 100x. Kinda makes sense when you step back and look at it like that.

54,

My W has accused me of trying to "buy" the K's affection. Yeah, both sides have their gripes.

You are right: EVERYTHING is magnified. That's why I had to laugh about the pillowcase thing last night. Too funny actually.

If this wasn't so frickin sad, it would be VERY COMICAL!

[carpenter54]

LIS

Something our MC told me this week....your wife, like mine, is angry at you rite now. She is angry about everything you do, say, buy and question her about. This is because everything in her life rite now that is messed up revolves around you in a way.

You are being a good parent
You are in control of your emotions
You are standing up for yourself in a positive way
You treat her kindly and with respect
You are fighting for your family


She is doing NONE of these things!!!!

My MC said it will take her a LONG time to heal herself from everything SHE is screwing up.....nothing I can do about it. She told me I am NOT the bad guy here.....you are in the same spot....keep all this in your head...and the dumb chit she says and does shouldn't bother you so bad in time....

An example

Couple weeks ago W decides to call me to tell me the CC payments are 6 days late....tell is a bad word....YELL at me. I calmly explain she can't have it all.....everything paid on time AND me to raise money for a D. Of course she whines some more and I just keep quiet. Today is about the 10th day in a row our car finance company has called....she is responsible for that. Up until today I was just letting in roll off my back.....I called them back and asked them to change the phone # to her cell. I then called her to see about her plans for tonite and calmly told her I gave them her # for anymore questions......can you guess her reaction? I said NOTHING about the CC call from a couple weeks before



One other thing the MC said.....I have ruined her "fantasy" life....of course she is gonna be angry.
I hope all this makes some kinda sense?!?!?