D12 spent the last 2 nights at H's place, last night at home. When I saw her after school yesterday, her hair (hip length and very thick) was basically in dreadlocks. It took over an hour to brush out. She hates to brush her hair and isn't going to take care of it without a lot of "encouragement." Which she apparently didn't receive. I look forward (I think) to the day when the adolescent grooming fixation kicks in. This just goes on the list of reasons why 50-50 custody won't work.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
In the first dew weeks after the bomb, my wife was telling me that she desired to run off with my best friend. I simply didn't believe her. When I ran this by my small circle of friends, no one belived it either. Funny thing, I had more trouble believing my best friend would ever consider doing something like this. He was the godfather to two of my children. He and I were going to plant/start a church together, believe it or not.
Well, I think that's an indication not only of how the mechanism of denial works (it's protective), but also just how unbelievably bizarre and dysfuntional these things are. So it's kind of an appropriate response.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Same thing on my side, Theo, disbelief all around. Everyone that knows cannot believe it. In the words of Donna the Buffalo... "Life is strange, life is good, life is all that it should be...."
Most people on my end couldn't believe it either--still can't believe it. There are a small handful to whom it didn't come as a surprise--one of H's friends he'd been talking to for awhile, who now thinks it's just such a nice coincidence that he reconnected with an old friend who's making him happy--but he thinks this occurred well after the separation. And 2 of our long-term friends we don't see very often, both of whom believe that the A is irrelevant and the marriage was never very promising. Now why they never mentioned that before I don't know. And why they've now withdrawn and I haven't heard from them in months, I also don't know. Staying clear of the mess, I imagine.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Donna the Buffalo is a band. That's one of their lyrics. "Life is strange, life is good... etc etc" It sounds better when they sing it. The name of the band is a pun - kinda like Hoosiermama. Who's your mama? Donna the Buffalo. Dawn of the Buffalo.
D12 spent the night with a friend last night, went to a Halloween party at church/school. She was a '50's girl. Had a pretty good time, I think. I picked her up early this afternoon and we went thrift-store shopping in the wealthy 'burbs. Got some good stuff! I definitely have to be in the right mood, but it can be fun. D loves it, as well as garage sale shopping (and I'm in the mood much less often for that!) We ended up at a mall, which is rare for us, and we found a store called "Go Fish." Cool place, if you have one near you--fair trade goods, which means unique and very reasonable, as well as knowing your purchase helps support artisans in developing countries.
While D was at the party, I went over to a friend's house where we had chili and caught up on each others' lives. So lots of verbal processing, listening to myself talk.
D is supposed to go to church with H in the morning. She was all excited about possibly spending the day with him--because he never sees her on weekends, and they don't have a lot of quality time to spend together. But he told her he had to bring her right home after church because he had a dinner party to go to. She was bummed; I was pretty glad, because I haven't seen much of her this week. She vented some about H being on the phone so much when she's there in the evenings; she said he mentioned something about--well, his friend had a bad day with her patients, and she said--well, I have bad days too and felt angry about being ignored. So he doesn't want time with her on the weekends, he's on the phone with OW while she's with him during the week. Guess he forgot about winterizing the pool. My L suggested that I start throwing some bumps in his road, not refusing to let her visit but having plans for her so that she's not going to his place so often during the week. Just to see his reaction.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
