Hope4us struggle, part 9 or 10 or whatever

[InLikeFlynn]

Well my two cents!!! If you trip may have triggered her I can only imagine what the spa guft would do....let alone what it would do to you. I hope this week is the result of her have triggers and not her pulling back, triggering from work, or worse!! Make sure nothing intrudes on your togethermess tour this weekend. She also is probably expecting you to want a some action this weekend also.....that should be a good measuring stick to where you two really are, just don't get to needy.

[whatdidido]

Based upon what you said.....skip the spa day......triggers and you've done it before..... Stick with what you have.

Interested to hear how the day goes....good job with the purse, btw. My H has no skills in those things.

[kat727]

I bet part of it was you being gone, being back at work and maybe her just trying to figure out where she is at. Keep telling her the stuff she needs to hear with in moderation of course.

Don't get discouraged, I think you are doing well.

kat

[Hope4us]

Thanks guys. I hope you're right. When I came out of the cavern this afternoon I had a text message from her. It said something about this job she's going to do filling in for another Admin while she has surgery. But the way it was worded was like she was having a conversation with someone else and sent this text in the middle of THAT conversation to me by mistake. So I sent her a reply and she replied "What"? Now I understand that she sent the text at 8:00 am and I didn't come out of the ground until after 2:00 pm, but I found that weird. So I said, "I was replying to your last text about the temp assignment but maybe that text was intended for someone else and you sent it to me by mistake" and it took her a good 10 minutes to reply. She said "Oh, I'd forgotten what I texted" and then replied to my comment. So I called her office and talked for a bit. I did include that itjust seemed like that text was meant for someone else and she replied "no, I wasn't texting anyone else". But she was kind of cold after that. I know I shouldn't, but I'll be checking the cell phone website in the morning and seeing if she was texting someone else. I mean, why would she have a reason to lie about something like that? I know she's not so stupid to text OM. There would be no reason to do that when she's at work and could IM or email him without me knowing. I don't know. It's just so wierd the way she was and her responses. Probably too much thinking on my part, but that's what this kind of crap does to ya.

On my way home she called and said the Halloween costume we'd ordered for S20 was delivered home instead of to S20's school so she was going to drive it to him for the party tomorrow. She's still gone right now and probably won't be home for a while unless S20 drives to meet her part way like he told me he was going to do.

So I don't know. I did ask her in our conversation if anything was bothering her. That last week and weekend things were great and after she went back to work she just seemed distant to me. And she replied that nothing was wrong.

I don't believe that though. There might not be anything wrong, but something's definitely different with her. Maybe it's like you guys have suggested. She's triggering because either I went on this work trip to the Refinery OM works at or because of how much I traveled prior to her affair. Or when she went back to work she triggered. Or her feelings scared her and she's pulling back some because that would make everything she's done a waste and she's not ready to face up to that yet.

We'll see. Tomorrow is the bed shopping trip where we'll be together most of the day. So it'll be a good gauge on where we are.

Talk to ya'all later...golly, I sound like H4H?!?!?!

[Hope4us]

The mood swings just keep on coming. And I'm not sure how much longer I can take them.

Warning, this is a vent......

Last night W got home from dropping off S20's costume, walked in the house, slammed her keys down on the counter and then went stomping around the house. About 10 minutes later she comes in the family room where I'm watching t.v. and I asked her how S20 was and BAM, complete mood change. She's talking, smiling, I'd say almost happy. We talk for a bit, she goes out to fix some toast.

I walk out in the kitchen and show her some of the rocks I brought up out of the cavern. The geologist that was down with us told us the layer of rocks we were at were around 2 billion years old. That's billion with a capital B. I found a few rocks with some fossils in them so I brought them home. I showed W the one that has a leaf fossil in it and she barely looked at it and said "yeah". I said, "ok", and put the rest of the rocks down and started to walk away and she said "what". I replied "you didn't even look at it". Then she gets all pissy saying she did, which I know she didn't. I was a few feet away with my body kind of turned away from her and she was messing around in the sink. So I know that's B.S. I walk back into the family room, get my cell phone and go to bed. On the way by I told her I was going to bed and she didn't even acknowledge me.

And then she slept on the couch all night.

I know she's PMSing. I'm willing to cut her a little break with that. But if this is the way it's going to be, I'd rather just end it now and move on. I just don't know how many more of these mood swings of hers I can take.

I know there are many things that could be up with her, like we've discussed in previous posts. And I understand them. But I woke up early this morning and just thought to myself, 'it was so nice here last night without her around'. S16 and I had a really nice evening. I could so be ok with that being the situation for the rest of my life.

Ok, vent over. We'll see what today holds.

[Hope4us]

I just checked the cell phone website and she wasn't texting anyone else so that's good. It's still confusing in that the text she sent me was like it was in the middle of a conversation with someone else. Maybe she was IM'ing someone at work and decided to send me a text telling me the info and it just came out like it was in a conversation.

Still don't know what's up with her. I really do understand her being on the same rollercoaster I am, but dang, why can't she let herself be open to the possibility of us giving this a go?

Of course, it's the weekend so she'll probably wake up in a great mood and it'll be like nothings wrong. And if that's the case I'm going to have to seriously talk to her about moving back to our hometown because it's obvious to me that her going to work here is affecting her, one reason or another....

[fightingirish]

(((((hope))))...posted to you on fb

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Sorry, dude. The mood swings do sukk, don't they??

It could be the PMSing. This weekend will be interesting, because you've still really only seen the wife you NEED to see when you're away together on vacation, and that's fantasyland. It's high time that she can show you that she can be vulnerable, and begin to meet your emotional needs (and also act trustworthy) when you're HOME, doing your usual weekday and weekend work and personal routines.

Something's conflicting her.

Puppy

[Hope4us]

Stunning. Just stunning. I go get a haircut before W gets out of bed (where she went from the couch after I got up). I come home and W comes downstairs a short time later after showering. She walks into the family room and says in the most sweet voice you've ever heard "good morning". We talk and then I go shower for our shopping trip.

We leave about 11:00 and just got home a short time ago. And it was a GREAT TIME. We hit a couple furniture stores, a wine and cheese place and then to a winery for some tasting and then to dinner. To steal from S&S on LIS's thread, she couldn't be more different than if Glenda the good witch switched places with The wicked witch of the West. It's just FREAKIN stunning.

We're sitting here now watching college football highlights waiting for the Texas/Texas Tech game.

Here are a few examples of our conversations during the day.

W: Do you know when your company Christmas party is yet and where you're having it?

W: I still can't get my mom to agree to come to our house for Thanksgiving so I think we should just have a family dinner at our house.

W: I'm really looking forward to my work Christmas party. Looking forward to buying a new dress for it.

W: I would like to slowly replace the furniture in the living room. It's nice, but dated, What do you think?

I could go on and on. She was kind of affectionate today. A little hand holding and she was enjoying my rubbing her leg while we were driving from place to place.

So I guess all I can say is WTF? I guess we'll see if she joins me in bed tonight. And who knows. This is exactly how she was the first couple days of vacation before the flood gates were lifted. It'll be interesting for her birthday tomorrow when I give her the Coach purse.

I'll keep ya posted!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Weird. Just . . . weird.