I'm afraid I'm going to disagree with the idea of asking him about his feelings/where he stands/what his views are. IMHO, your H is in a life transition (and I know there's an element of that from the conversations we've had). Asking him things is going to increase his guilt and the bad feelings he associates with the M/R. He's running from something he perceives has been painful, so feeling bad during a conversation with him isn't going to help things. I've never read a situation where an R talk initiated by the LBS caused a turnaround. Maybe I missed them, but if they're there, there aren't many!
In the end, you have to decide where to draw the line, and what he says shouldn't influence that. You know that already. I'm just not sure that anything he might or might not say (and I think he'd veer towards *not* saying anything) would help you to move on. Hearing him say he's seeing someone else might make you do that more quickly, but if that's the case, why not just move on anyway? Detach, live life as if he isn't coming back, and then see what happens. That's usually when the WAS turns back towards the M. I don't see it as a bad thing to have not been in a lot of contact either. men are like rubber bands- they need time away. In some cases where there's been success there's been >6months with no contact.
On the other hand, I'm not against you telling him you're moving on. I just wouldn't expect him to have much to say about it!
