Surrendering to hope

[istherehope]

Alright journaling again from my Blackberry while out on a long walk. There is this coastal walk I am doing that will hopefully last about 2 hours.

Now H has mentioned the outlet mall again, for me he says, and he might want to go in 2 hours.I asked him if he felt pressured to go, and he said no, so I said as long as this was the case, I'd love to go.I think he feels better when there are actually things he can do for me. He mentioned whether my friend is still going on vacation again. I nearly panicked but just talked about where she was going instead. We ate lunch in the house together with light chitchat about the pets. He's been fairly distant, but did sort of poke at me once in the kitchen affectionately. I kissed his cheek in return (I know-not supposed to do this).Just trying really hard to strike the balance between not seeming needy and still somehow spending quality time with him. He leaves tomorrow, and returns Wednesday I believe...

It's all very weird. I'm hoping for a clearly positive sign tonight!

ITH