Midwestern Girl 10/23/08

[ACJ]

My H is also going out of his way to ensure I am excluded from Christmas this year. Ever since he left I have always invited him for special occassions and with the exception of the first Christmas (which was only a month after he left) he has refused all invitations.

This year it seems he feels he has a right to ensure I am lonely on christmas day. He rang all the kids to ask if they wanted to spend the day with him and OW. D18 instantly said no and he was clearly taken aback by this so he asked why. She told him she wasn't about to leave me by myself on Christmas day and his response was 'Why not?' Not wanting to inflame things but wanting him to understand how passionate about this she was she simply asked him how he would feel if he had to spend Christmas day by himself. He said if he was forced to do so he would (I assume he meant it was alright for him to force me to be by myself). D13 deflected a response by saying she would have to speak to me first. She has since told me she doesn't want to go but hasn't told H this yet. I think she will stick by this but she does have a tendancy to suddenly want to spend time with H if she and I have had a big arguement (as teens and parents frequently do) and so I'm not holding my breath here. As for S16 I have seen him for less than 30 mins this month and I have not heard from him about this situation. As my girls quite rightly pointed out he already lives with H and OW so may well just assume that this is where he should be on Christmas day. I am putting no pressure on any of my kids to be with me on Christmas day b/c if they truely want to be with their father then that is where they should be. For me Christmas no longer has the magic is used to have as I don't have an intact family anymore and so the reasons to celebrate are not as strong.