Holly, I'm very sorry to come here today and see your posting. You work extremely hard to save your marriage, but ultimately, God took it from your hands and is now guiding the process. There is a reason for what he's done and you may not understand or know for a while what that reason was/is.
Your "dress rehearsal" a year ago was preparing you for this. Yes, you will always feel like your are still TJ's wife and I do hope that he will turn himself around now that he's got the freedom he so desperately craved. You've been his strongest supporter and yet, it wasn't enough to help him see the light.
Holly, you are okay and you will continue to be okay. When you are feeling down, do not hesitate to lean on your friends for support. Everyone will be there to help you through this. Allow yourself time to grieve, cry and be sad. You do not have to be a happy person all of the time and no one should expect it. Take things slowly to allow yourself time to heal.
BTW, congratulations to your SIL.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
