Quote: How SURE are you about things that are going to happen?
I feel that I am usually very sure about things that are going to happen. Much of it is a gut reaction. That when I don't listen to it I end up getting burned. But right now I am not sure of anything at all
Quote: How much do you rely on the past, and the present, to predict the future? Especially about the "negative" things?
I rely on the past a lot. The concept of he who forgets the past is destined to repeat it. But I think it's about putting the past behind me and dealing with the present and the possible future.
Quote: How would you see the situation you're in from an outsider's point of view?
If it was someone from here I would probably see it as hopeful. And that there was things that could turn the situation around and bring my STBX and I closer together.
Quote: What if you were a third-party looking at the events that are going on in your life? How might you see things differently?
Well depending on who I was, I might see it as hopeless and that I just have to move on and forget about her. But then again, if I think there is hope who am I to give up!?!
Quote: If you were to read your story on the board like it was someone else's thread, what would you post to yourself? What advice would you give to you? How well would you take that advice?!
Back off of her, which I do. And give her time. Remove the reason for her to be angry and the anger will go away. Though she seems more angry at herself and taking it out on me. But might be MY perspective.
Quote: If there was no past history to taint your views of the possibilities of things that could happen in the future, what might things look like?
WOW! Things would look so promising. I can see where our negative pasts get in the way. Things are always the same they can never change type mentality. But I KNOW that things can and often DO change.
Quote: If you were to put aside the "fact" that everything your partner is doing is meant to hurt you, what other possible explanations for some of their individual behaviors might you be able to come up with?
Hmmm maybe my STBX is just scared, and angry with herself for allowing things to get this way but not knowing how to do anything differently. And that anger is being projected as payback to make her feel better. But more out of confusion than anything else.
Quote: What areas of your relationship might it be helpful to "take off your blinders", and see things from a different perspective?
I'm not really sure on this one. I do always try and look at things from multiple perspectives. Which is why I am driving myself crazy with THIS situation right now. Trying to analyze the intel. Gotta stop doing that and take things more for what they are.
Quote: What does that dot that the teacher drew on the blackboard represent to you?!
It represents to me that no matter what is all around us that is clean and good we only notice the one thing that doesnt belong or is out of place. The bad things.
Quote: What would your answer be to the "miracle question"? Your answer to how things COULD be, instead of the way that they are?
We would have a loving affectionate relationship. In the way we communicate with one another. The time we spend with one another. More tenderness in our speech, physical contact, and our actions.
Quote: If you were to start things over from scratch, with a clean slate, what would your relationship be like? What would YOU be doing to help lead it into the right direction?
There would be mutual respect. More loving jestures. Lots of talking. Major desire to spend time with and see that person a lot more. More caring about their feelings and not wanting to hurt them. I would not be bringing up the past with statements like ALWAYS, NEVER... and find a way to let it go. Act as if nothing ever happened between us before. It's all new. I sure wish I had this info 3 years ago when I REALLY started feeling that things were going off track.
