Thanks for the vote of confidence JJ -

I'm feeling like I'm floundering a bit & by going thru these steps I'm hoping to be able to Re-focus

I think that I got a bit too excited at how the year was starting to turn around & then screwed up by getting us into this cycle -

I lost it & started the cycle but he for some reason is continueing it by escalating things just as I'm starting to level off & calm down from the last escaltion - thats why I was trying to figure out what was in his mind -
why would he intentionally escalate things when they were just starting to calm down?

I'm thankful for this board as it's a place that I can journal as well as ask for help -

I did start a yahoo group because I'd also like to be able to chat with ohters about DBing & prefer the Instant Feedback that can be gotten there or via the Instant Messenger
Yahoo Group Divorce Remedy
it has a voice chat room & if anyone wants to add me to their Instant Messengers or join the yahoo group I'd love to chat.


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DO take caution, though, about spending TOO much time "trying to figure out what going on in his head"! Heck, he probably doesn't even know himself


I toally agree with that possibility as he's so contradictory that I don't know what to expect from him at this point - truely an Alien to me at this moment

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Instead, keep doing what you're doing now, put together a plan of action, and begin to experiment with some things, and then monitor the results. Find your "more of what works, and less of what doesn't work". Doing so will help take you farther, and faster!



That's what I'm here trying to figure out & why I started the yahoo group as well as posting that I'd like to have some feedback on the Instant Messengers - I'm not quite sure what I'm doing & could use some suggestions as to what I should be trying, & to help me with the "Plan of Action"

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Remember that relationships are like see-saws; the more that one person does, the less the other has to do. Discovering just how to change the balance of this can be tricky. Sometimes you have to do it in gentle nudges, other times it seems you have to yank the carpet out from underneath them! Either way, this could be a good place to look for some 180's to try.



Trying to figure out what I can do to set the see saw on a more even side - I'm unsure what to try as a 180, but focus is out of whack as there r so many things going on that have occurred due to his irresponsibility this past yr & 1/2 that now I'm in crisis mode trying to get out & be in at least a more stable sitch with the actual home front = looking for new place to stay & getting all packed up & getting son back out onto his own & getting my own life back like I was staring to get last summer

well got to go & get some more done on both the Db Step Questions & also Re-doing my 7 Habits work that I got distracted from earlier this month when this sitch started on it's crazy roller coaster twisting 7 speeding up

your DB buddy
djembequeen