Quote: I'm uncertain but I'm trying to figure out whats going on in his head as well as mine by reading & chatting with other DBers
I think it's great that your reading and chatting with other DB'ers. It really can help to see what other's have done in their situations, and get the support you need! DO take caution, though, about spending TOO much time "trying to figure out what going on in his head"! Heck, he probably doesn't even know himself! Instead, keep doing what you're doing now, put together a plan of action, and begin to experiment with some things, and then monitor the results. Find your "more of what works, and less of what doesn't work". Doing so will help take you farther, and faster!
Quote: I try to lead the family along the path which will benefit the family & hubby seems to undermine the plan maybe the key is to let him actually lead it's just that hubby's always been a follwer from what I can see as he's failed to lead the family which creates troubles that I've had to find a way to get us out of - quite frankly I'm tired of that behaivor & would love for him to really LEAD the FAMILY
Keep this in mind as you're working through these steps. Remember that relationships are like see-saws; the more that one person does, the less the other has to do. Discovering just how to change the balance of this can be tricky. Sometimes you have to do it in gentle nudges, other times it seems you have to yank the carpet out from underneath them! Either way, this could be a good place to look for some 180's to try.
Again, I think you're doing great work here!!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
