Do you think I shouldn't go trick or treating with the whole family?
oh no..go brother..I never meant that at all.. If I had I would have said "don't go"
Go Go GO..for the kids man..
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M, do you think that I'm not detached enough?
never said that either..
I guess I go back to my sitch..When I first started posting here in early 08 I used the word "expect" in some form all the time. I had a "mentor" here point that out to me. It's a hard word not to use. I think we all have expectations of our spouses/former spouses but those expectations never serve us well.
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But as far as detachment, I don't care if she comes or goes. I don't ask her what she's doing, nor do I want to know. I'm dark with her when we're not together unless it's kid/financial related. Plus, I find that I'm happier when she's not around. In your opinion, is there something else about detachment I'm not getting?
nope..if you are where you are..then you sound pretty dammmnn detached.
I guess I asked about detachment due to the use of the word "expect".
she will do what she will do. It will be what it will be. Hell it is what it is..
well, no mom of the year award tonight. So I ended up taking the kids trick or treating by myself. Here's what happened. The W calls at 6 to tell me she's on the way. She'll be home at 6.30 to do D makeup for Cinderella costume. At 6:15 she calls and says that traffic was bad, accident or something. True, I heard it on the radio. By 6:25 my D said "Daddy let's just go without Mommy." I said "No, mommy wants to come too."
6:45 Mommy pulls in driveway and stops for about 2 min. Must have gotten a text/call. Finally, pulls up to the house and gets out. She tells D to come on and get makeup on; D says NO I want to go. W then tells kids that daddy can take you; I'm late getting ready for a party. She asks is that alright with you tom? I said that you could've called 30 mins ago; the kids already wanted to leave. By the time that we get there, the kids would only have 45 mins of trick or treat time. She said "Sorry." don't apologize to me. Apologize to the kids. So then I ask if her dad is expecting us. She says yes. If it had been no, we'd went to a closer 'hood. See we live in the woods.
So we get to FIL house and do some trick or treating. Then we all ate pizza. Shocking turn of the evening was when FIL W asked me how I was doing. Said that they wouldn't interfere; but wanted me to know that they were there for me in any way. FIL W stated that she's known W was off in the head since age 10 and that she thinks it's getting way worse. FIL told me that I will far better off when I'm out of the M and away from W. WOW!!! He said that his D was crazy. I didn't disagree. FIL W said that she knew that I was trying to keep it together for the kids and that she was pissed at W for what she's doing to the kids. W even told her tonight that she wasn't coming because she was looking for her fishnet stockings for the Halloween party tonight. FIL W asked what are going as, a hooker? I thought to myself, if you only knew.
Anyway, my mom came into town to make sure that kids get to soccer tournament games tomorrow as I head to the 'Nati for drill. So I'm not worried about the kids. W is .....who knows? don't care!
If I don't post to y'all this weekend; I'll see you Monday.
Enjoy your weekend at drill. I will be doing the same this weekend. It is almost scary that a WAS makes less sense then the military way of thinking. Hang tight and take care of yourself and the kids.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
Failed his CDC's, that is not good. They get pretty irked here if that happens. I personally can't see a reason to fail them other then putting in the effort, maybe other circumstances though. I would not think that is a good way to start the weekend, but have a wonderful Air Guard weekend also.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
MC...sorry the trick or treating didn't go as planned! But, now that it's over I'm glad you agreed to go. What if you hadn't been planning on it, and W didn't get home in time. You are a great dad!!!!
Interesting discussion with her family. How sad that they feel that way about her too. Maybe that's part of the issue...doesn't sound like she gets unconditional from that part of her family.
Hope your trip goes well, and I hope your mom doesn't have to deal with W this weekend!!!
I'll look for you Monday! Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
