Before we went out I thought about my girls and yelled upstairs to see if they were hungry. My girls said no, but my wife yelled Yes! My girls wanted McD and she wanted Taco Bell. So I said that I would go to both places and pick us up some food while they finished getting ready and went over to her Moms. As I went out the door she said thank you and I said you're welcome.
I'm guessing that it is these kinds of simple tasks that make the difference. I feel that I was thoughful in thinking of the girls being hungry and then went out to get something for them because they were busy. In the past I wouldn't have asked and surely wouldn't have wanted to go out and buy food. Only time will privide me with more of these opportunities to show her how important my girls and my wife are to me.
Then my wife, my wifes Mom, myself, and my two girls went out Trick or Treating. We had a good time but it was for sure wierd that I couldn't touch her with affection. I would always touch her when we would walk in some fashion or another. I wasn't all over her in the past, I would just give a touch on the shoulder, back, etc when I would be close. Just sad that I can't do that anymore. We talked about general stuff and we had a decent time. I am feeling better though because I know that I'm hungry more often. I need to be careful that I don't lose it and gain all the 21 pounds that I lost back.
One thing that is so hard to handle is the fact that I have no idea how long it will take to get a good sign that things are improving for us. I will just take it one day at a time and keep plugging away making myself a better person.
I was out today and I have always wanted to take a CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver classes in case I ever needed. I have thought about it in the past that if someone in my family or someone around me needed something and I didn't know how to do it, I would feel terrible. So I'm going to fix that by learning how to save someones life. It is something that I will be proud of myself for. I hope I never have to use it but if I do, I hope I can give someone else a second chance at life.
