Single parenting and dating again.....

[~Sol]

Hey Sol, it's great to hear one of us guys thinking with the right head for a change! R's are very stressful and difficult things, they can be draining even under the right circumstances.

You hit the nail on the head, and I'm glad it's not just me that thinks that! I must be crazy to want to be open to another R whether its now or later on. (Of course not now yet - but you never know....) They are stressful, I agree. And make one a long distance? I think I forgot to take my happy pills on that one!

I think it's important to pick a sitch where the odds are in your favour otherwise you set yourself up for problems.

Another wise comment. I have been thinking of letting her go, and possibly our friendship, and just make it a rule to date only locally. Also need to make sure I date more mature women, who love kids whether they have some of their own or not. But definitely keep it local. She would have to be an exceptional woman to want to try for a LDR....but that's the kind of woman I am looking for anyway!

Could you just keep in touch as friends and just leave it open.

Well we met with the intentions of being potential partners - we were both looking, but we maintained a steady friendship for months now. Because it's been long distance - I didn't bother to pursue her, she was the one keeping me around, so I got curious. Now she denies she was pursuing me! LOL! But after developing more than just feelings of friendship, and her showing obvious signs of affection, I can't just let it stay as friends. I would have to let it go if nothing further develops. I'm a sucker for romance and I bruise easily. I'm the artistic, intellectual type with a quirky personality - but when it comes to romance, it's a whole different language and I'm a goof at it! Me lovestruck = deer with headlights!

A real man thinks of the needs of both himself and the other party, if you aren't ready and yet go ahead anyway then you're not doing her any favours!

That is wisdom right there man. I agree. And it has to go both ways too. She also has to be ready and think of both party's needs.

Well I had a short but deep R talk with this woman. She's in NY state, I'm in VA. I asked her about her romantic innuendos towards me and why she won't tell me how she feels. I didn't pursue it further, and I knew that R talks aren't good at all. But I had to clear up some issues we were having so we are both on the same page. I made mistakes, she did too. We have not had any intimate contact except for a kiss on the cheek, hugs. Just friend stuff. But the killer deal will be the distance and the lack of commitment - I guess from both sides. I am still in contact with her as friends, but I am abandoning any hope that it will go further. Do I want it to? Yes, I would like to. She's that unique, but if both hearts and minds aren't there, no R no matter how near or far will work out. Doomed to failure from the start.

Eerily, the way we have met and progressed has a lot of parallels to how I handled my ex when I first met and dated her. That scares me! Sol meets girl, likes girl, dates girl, offends girl, apologizes sincerely to girl, makes friends with girl and dates some more. Yep, happened just about the same way. I need to work on how I do R's better! My fault is that I need way more communication time and more friendly dates in order to not offend in a serious way, but I know mistakes will be made in all R's.

Anyway, after our "chat" we stopped the R talk, as it gets to a point where it starts to go on a tangent and makes the person on the other end slightly uncomfortable - whether we're in a R or not. But I still think I did good since I kept it short, but she told me I needed to stop going on that tangent, so I did, and changed the subject to Halloween stuff. I really listen to women more now - I guess that's a big plus for me as a guy right? Well I was a little heartbroken after our chat, I don't know why, but I needed to point this out so I can remember how I felt. Again, I'm a romantic and I usually do a good job of setting myself up for disappointment. Ha! There's a song by The Cranberries of same name! I know this feeling will pass, it's just a feeling.