Finally a new wifey thread

[The Wifey]

Hi guys. I have been lurking and mostly posting on my friend's. i have really and truly working on me. Working on detaching. Some of it I've done real well and others not.

But the last couple of days I've had a change in my head. I still love him, really I do, but I am dropping the rope. I need to take care of me and try not to concern myself majorly with how messed up his head it.

I have to give a lot of credit to the Divorce Care Group that I've been attending, to my faith, and to my friends. I still believe in DB, but it has more than anything supported my other avenues of support.

This morning I could not sleep (as usual- have not slept well in 5 months.) I woke at 2 am and was still awake at 4:30 am. I sat up in bed at that point and sent my H a text. It said, "I have spent my last sleepless night in a strange place. I am coming home. I am coming home to where I belong."

He didn't get the message at that point because he was asleep. He was still asleep when I got home and crawled into bed with him. I curled up to him and fell fast asleep. I didn't wake up until 7:30 in the morning, long after he'd gone to work.

Oh yeah, I can hear you all now just warming up the 2x4's. But you do not understand. I am home because I want to be home. At this point if he decides to leave I am in my home. I could not exist at my friends any longer. I miss my dog, my house, my space.

YES I missed him, but at this point he can do what he likes. If he decides to go and give up on us it will be his doing. I am doing what I am FOR ME.

Interesting side note> I signed up for a trial membership to match.com. I don't want to meet anyone, just wanted to look. It did make me feel good that 9 people winked at me in one night. Nice to know that somebody looked. Also nice to know that there is a pool of people that aren't half bad to look at.