Ok - After the above posts , i rang H again this morning and apologisd again to him for all the pain. I told him i was working on letting go and that i would not assume to be involved with amything he organised with kids ( he seems to think he has to involve me ). i said that we needed to be friends at some level. He agreed with all that and said it was lovely to hear but as far as us - it was all too late. He sounded so final and cold.
I am tearful and so sad. Can I come back from this. Oh my god this is so awful. I dont want to GAL without him.
