God grant me the patience and the strength...8

[Nutty Chick]

I get the feeling TOH is doing what she thinks her husbands wants to get him to return, in which case … are the changes genuine and long lasting?

This feeling is very wrong. Honestly H maybe wanted this before he left. He should have said so. He should have included me more. Appreciated me for what I DID do. Respected me enough to ask me to help, not demand me too when it was convient to him. Relized that I had other obligations besides him. But it's too late to go back. Being more involved in the farm is something that I realized I WANT to do now before it is all gone. I may not get this chance again. It really has nothing to do with H. It's ME and what I want. And whether or not this lasts is up to whether or not we keep this farm.

So he wasn't respectful to you before he left either?

when we work together he treats me like I am an employee not a partner. he expects me to jump at his beck and call no matter what I may be doing. he has no patience with me. he is a terrible teacher, then expects me to know what and how. Then I found myself makeing exuses to not help. It was just easier to stay away and leave him to do it.

So, what DO you like about working with him?

I always WANT to ML with my H. It's just easier not to sometimes. And I guess I used it to punish him for not "loving" me the way I needed him to. Or I would wait for him to initiate because I WANTED him to, and he was waiting for me. Lack of communication between us on sex is a HUGE issue as well. It seems we both have very high walls built between us when it comes to sex...

How have things changed now? he is still not loving you the way you want / need...

I put on weight because it's in my genes. I come from a long line of "heavy" people. And I LOVE food. And like to cook, if I'me going to cook it, I'm going to eat it. And I have NO will power.

eating for comfort?

nutty x