The answer is absolutely NOT! You don't settle and you won't settle. However, as long as he is trying, allow yourself to listen and observe what he's doing.
On the subject of his not being romantic toward you, I would say he's afraid to do so b/c of rejection. Once you let him know you are trying, I think he'll turn it around.
You mentioned before you told him you'd have to consider "dating" him first, so that needs to happen. He needs to woo you and try to get you to unlock your buried love for him. You don't need to settle. He needs to work.
Finally, about his job, I would advise you to frankly tell him how much it has been allowed to come inbetween you two and it can't happen any more. I also buried myself in my work at the expense of my family and have just now realized I don't need this place as much and they really don't need me as much as I once believed. A good, open and honest discussion is what I'd recommend.
If you feel you've done this already, do you think he understood completely? Regardless, I think you should make sure, I mean sure w/out a doubt, he gets it, no matter how long it takes to register in his DAM head.
