How do you feel about love being a choice, a decision, and not a feeling? ______________________________
My H is the textbook version of "I love you but I'm not in love with you". I still think that love is a feeling. When I look at him I am sure that he does NOT love me. If it were a choice, why do I hurt so much? I've only been working with DR for about three weeks, am I still too new?
In what ways have you, and your partner, might have let your love dwindle, and not made your love for each other a priority? ______________________
As I said in a previous reply, after reading the DR book, I realized that I made a lot of mistakes. Our work and kids seem to have become the only things we do together anymore. I'm working on the 180 and starting to get some positive response. The 'as if' seems to work pretty good but I'm still a rookie and boy is this hard.
How do you feel about Michele's staement of "If your spouse reports falling out of love, just say nothing and remind yourself that nothing is permanent. If s/he fell out of love, s/he can fall into love again"? _____________________________
I'm 'choosing' to believe Michelle is right on this. I want to make him fall in love with me again. I haven't said I love you to him in over a month and I have not asked for a kiss or hug in almost three weeks. We still live together, but he is out with the boys most nights and I feel more like a roomate than a W right now. This was a good week though, he has been pleasant and not said hurtful things ... yet
What do you think about NOT talking to him/her about your "feelings" of love for each other? About not putting any pressure on them to talk about it? ___________________
I'm working on this and I think it is working. Keeping my fingers crossed.
What do you think are some of the differences between "being in love" with a person, and "loving" a person? ______________________
This is tough. He loves me like a sister or cousin, not a W or lover. There are no casual touches on the shoulder or sweet, affectionate looks, there is no genuine intrest in my life and he seems a little self-centered (i.e. worried about his promotion, his appearance, his sports ability, his social calendar)
