Max, get a grip. This is the first social event he has attended without me and worse still he never mentioned it. I want to chase him down and shake him. I feel i am losing him. What says he gets comfortable doing things like that without me and what says he meets someone . This is horrible. We seem to grow further and further apart. You can handle this. This is not horrible. I know you feel lonely, I've felt it myself. This is something he needs to do. If you fight it or struggle against it, you will feel worse, he will pull further away, and you will have achieved nothing.
He needs to stretch his legs. He's got the "lookarounds". Let him look around. Let him be.
This is not horrible. This is a step in a process. I know you are lonely. That is why you need to get your own life. Do your own thing, find stuff that delights you, (I'm sorry to say) without him. FOR NOW.
I am going to TRY not to say anything to him. Give him space, No, you are not going to TRY. You are going to do it. No TRY. Just do it. Make up your mind and do that thing. If the right thing is to not say anything, then DONT. Period. NO TRY.
This seems worse by the day. If he gave even the slightest hint that he missed me I would hang on to that but I get nothing. I get that it seems worse to you, but it doesn't to me. Take one step back. he needs to be more independent. He has been telling you this for some time.
Honestly, it is ok and healthy for him to go to social events without you. Even in the best of marriages, maybe ESPECIALLY in the best of marriages, the individuals have independent lives. They share some things, and some things they do not share.
This is ok. You can handle this.
You could handle it better if you were actually DOING SOMETHING besides sitting and thinking about him.
It is like he is stone cold where I am concerned. I think he no longer loves me. Have you read the DB book, Max? This is straight out of the book. His behavior and your reactions. Straight out of the book.
You can torment yourself with these thoughts, but I really wish you wouldn't. I really wish you would go and do something, treat yourself, amuse yourself, hang out with your own friends, go to a concert, get out and see the springtime air. Go!
did you call the counselors? you didn't say anything about that.
