Quoting Jamesjohn: The Realtionship IQ Quiz: #5 - "People Just Fall Out of Love". How do you feel about love being a choice, a decision, and not a feeling?
OK I'll bite...Of course its a choice, but it seems like such a normal natural one to me that I don't think much about it...Unfortunately for my W it seems like its an ordeal for her just to acknowledge her feelings for me, she seems so bent on proving that she's right and has "fallen" out of love. Her eyes give her away but it looks like she's made and communicated so many decisions with her friends and family that its easier to put out the lights on us than acknowledge that she ain't so sure about those words anymore (DB'ing has made this possible I must point out). I think that the "feeling" might just be the catalyst that provokes the "decision" but when the layers of psyche are corroded with negatives it just short-circuits that connection and the decision is not made. The decision for her is just to keep the status quo which happens to be "Godonlyknowswhatshappening" between us. So I'll deal with that reality, but for me it's much more of a rational decision that today I make at many little tiny junctures.
Quoting Jamesjohn:In what ways have you, and your partner, might have let your love dwindle, and not made your love for each other a priority?
She forgot my phone number, does that count? Sadly, I thought about priorities a while back and I fall around number seven or so with W. I guess in our former life I wasn't all that attentive to her and her needs and thats why she got the impression that I didn't care. I was too busy with work and projects and stuff... Today, she's got so much distance forced between us that only through my efforts does any contact exist between us...Dwindling by distance I guess...I tried showing through my actions and words that she's a huge priority for me but that was a cheeseless tunnel, so now I just go with what works and that happens to be infrequent, "unplanned" encounters that I usually initiate (going dark was not working well so I abandoned that).
Sadly, I thought about priorities a while back and I fall around number seven or so with W. I guess in our former life I wasn't all that attentive to her and her needs and thats why she got the impression that I didn't care. I was too busy with work and projects and stuff... Today, she's got so much distance forced between us that only through my efforts does any contact exist between us...Dwindling by distance I guess...I tried showing through my actions and words that she's a huge priority for me but that was a cheeseless tunnel, so now I just go with what works and that happens to be infrequent, "unplanned" encounters that I usually initiate (going dark was not working well so I abandoned that).
