How to treat a WAW when I've stopped chasing her?

[Dash]

Alli,

The weekend before my wife left I spent the entire weekend talking to her, crying with her, fighting with her, and I thought I was getting through to her until I went home around 9 am that Monday morning and she was talking to her EA on voice chat. She was so enthralled that she didn't even hear me come in.

That was the final straw for me. I told her she had to go right then. That she was being disrespectful to me and our marriage. She had already promised she wouldn't contact him again as long as she was still living in our apartment. The hardest part was seeing some of what they were saying to each other in text chat and hearing her laugh like a school girl.

Of course this still didn't keep me from trying to talk her out of it. Over the next couple of weeks I did everything I could to "make her see" what a great guy I was, and I kept pointing it out to her. BIG MISTAKE!

From what I've read, keep the conversations civil and keep them about the kids if at all possible. Don't discuss anything about the R (relationship) or the M (marriage) with her at this point. Don't remind her of good times unless it's through actions but don't do it so overtly that she knows what you're up to.

Don't be lovey dovey with her, but be nice and respectful. And while you're GALing, don't share it with her. If she asks where you're going be polite but just say, "Out with a friend." Let there be some mystery. Drop the "honey" and "sweetie" from your vocabulary for now.

It's okay to break down when you're alone or with a trusted friend, or when you come here to vent, just don't let her see the hurt. I do it and I'm at the point now where I'm not even sure if my WAW deserves me. But I'm going to keep going because I know there is someone out there that does. And more importantly, I deserve the best me possible. Make this about you along the way, about being a better you for yourself. She'll be the one losing out in the end if she doesn't turn around.

I wish I could be more helpful to you, I know it's a tough situation to be in, I'm there myself.

Keep me posted on your progress, and if you do backslide, look at it as being on a diet, don't give up altogether, and don't over analyze or apologize too much for it.

Keep working on your PMA and GAL and let her see what she'll be missing. In the end you just have to believe if she doesn't see it (this is where I think I'll end up), then it's going to be her loss.

At this point I'm sort of starting to feel bad for my soon to be ex, because she is going to miss out on the best of me and at the same time, until she realizes her part in things, she's going to miss out on the best of life in general.

Good luck,

Dash