HTTE, The tough road...Facing the big D

[HopefultotheEnd]

Wow, just when I thought there was no more sh#t left to hit the fan. Let me back up...

W and I have been getting along, especially since our conversations and lunch on wed. I went out last night to a Halloween event, W had the kids at my house. When I came home she was asleep in my bed as has become the pattern. I crawl in and go to sleep. In the morning there is cuddling.

I had come to terms with the fact that we may not reconcile but that these nights were enjoyable for both of us. This morning she even rolled over at one point and rubbed my arm and kissed me lightly. (I have no expectations from it)

So get to the drama part. We are both still cuddling,lazily trying to get up, me so I can get the kids ready and her so she can go home and get ready for work. She tells me that she might not want to go to the party on sat, I say, "oh, what's up?" And she says, "Well, I was thinking about taking the kids up to your parents condo since they've been asking to go."

I pause, and hint that that's not ok without me or I will take them some time, and she asks if I have a problem with it. I answer truthfully "Yes" but omit that my sister specifically stated that she wasn't comfortable with W staying up there when W moved out in July. (Sister lives at condo part time and is part owner)

W leaves, I accept that she is going to be upset. W calls and we talk a long time, she texts me a few times after. She is angry.

I don't feel bad specifically but now she is saying that since we are friends and that I seem to be ok with cuddling her that there is no reason for me not to let her use the condo with the kids. I know what I have to do here. but it just a sudden change from the direction we were going. I have to stop the cuddling and the affection and be ok with it and the fact she is pissed she can't go to the condo.

After the call she sends me a text stating that I'm using her because I feel that I have the right to cuddle her and be affectionate and to go to parties thrown by her friends but she is not invited to any of mine (huh?) and that she can't take the kids to the family condo because suddenly there is a boundary.

She sends another text basically saying that she has plenty of places to stay up there so really the only thing I took from her was the ability for her to take the kids up there and that she feels like it's intentionally hurtful and done out of retaliation.

I'm not going to respond but we are supposed to take the kids out tonight. (This was going to be so fun) I still have a great attitude, being ok no matter what has that benifit. But I'm still a pleaser at heart so I have to be careful, I still want to make her happy.

It'll be sad but i'm ok with stopping our affectionate moments. I just have to figure out how to handle when she sleeps over. I guess the guest room? I'm not sure if I should say anything or not. I just might stop the affection.

As for the parties, yes I do feel ok with going to parties thrown by her friends that I've gone to every year for the past 5 or more years. My friends havn't thrown any parties but she is probably right that she wouldn't be invited by the few who know about our sitch.