I haven't read all of your posts and just have a minute. No, don't give up hope as long as you feel there is a chance.
You feel as if you can't live without him because you haven't tried to go and do things without him. What interests do you have? Join a book club, go to a movie, get together with your friends and have dinner, go window shopping or actually shopping if you can afford it. You have put too much emphasis on him in your life and not enough on you. I was guilty of that too, so don't feel bad in any way...just do what you need to to change it.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory