"You're more likely to divorce if there are differences in your backgrounds, your likes and dislikes, and interests".

Thoughts on this illusion?

In the beginning it was our differences that drew us together. I believe that he still reflects on our differences positively, however, it is his EA that skews that view right now.

What are some of the differences between the two of you that you thought were "cute" when you first got together, but you now think are rather "annoying"?! What do you think that their answer to this question might be?
In the beginning it was cute that he was a dedicated softball player and we traveled to alot of tournaments together, now it is annoying with our 3 kids I can't usually go and his EA intrest is on all 3 of his teams and travels with him instead.

In what ways are you different from your partner? What things might you be able to add to their lives?
He has given me alot of grief for 'acting like his mother'. I am the responsible one, I don't drink and drive and caution him against it, I party conservatively because I am aware of the impression this will give our pre-teen daughters, I don't go out to bars often (he goes to the sports bar 5+ days a week with 'the guys'), etc. If he would take on some of the responsibilities I could relax a little and re-discover what FUN is, I have honestly not had FUN in years. Enjoyment - yes, FUN - no.

In what ways is your partner different from you? What things might they be able to add to YOUR life?
He is the type of person that everyone likes. He is a genuinely nice person and the fact that he no longer loves me and doesn't care to ever love me again is rare for him. If I could learn to be as at ease with others as he is, my life might be happier in the long run.

What are your strengths and your weaknesses?

My strength is that I am a strong individual and very capable of taking control when necessary.

What are their strengths and weaknesses?
My weakness is that I tend to try to take control too often, but deep down, I am dying to have someone else take over and be the boss

How might the two of you be able to combine your strengths, and come together to make a great relationship, to be a great "team"?

We had formed a funcitonal relationship over the years, I thought. Our children are very well behaved and respectful, our personal affairs are in order and until his MLC and EA, we had a wonderful relationship in important matters. It is the personal matters that I seemed to have put on the back burner for 10 years too many. Is that rule of thumb in the book accurate? Estimate 1 month recovery for every year you were married? That gives me 10 months and I am in the Military and due to go over seas for a few months in OCT.

What actions could you take if you were to look back at what you were doing in the past, and learn how to appreciate those differences again? How would they know if you were thinking that your differences could help to draw you closer together, instead of driving you apart?
If I knew then what I know now, I would have paid more attention to things he mentioned and the importance he put on certain actions. I might have tried to get more involved with him and those things he is interested in. he in return would have likely returned the favor. if only I had ....