The Realtionship IQ Quiz: #2 - "You're more likely to divorce if there are differences in your backgrounds, your likes and dislikes, and interests".
I think PART of this is true. I know that I have come to realize that my H's and I NOT sharing in the interest and activities of one another helped drive a wedge between us. We are in many ways very different. I like the opera and theatre, he likes Harley's and fishing. While I would participate in some of the things he liked, he would adamantly refuse to participate in the things I enjoyed. My H acts as if doing anything that he would associate with a "Yuppy" lifestyle would somehow make him less manly or something. The ridiculous part is, my H makes an excellent living. Until we sold our (his boat) last summer, we were cruising around in a boat that sells in the six figures. We live in a high end home on the river and he goes around in Harley t-shirts hoping someone will assume he's still just a guy from shanty town or something. When he had his A's, he even picked uneducated, "redneck" women that he hid from public view...I just don't get it. I to come from relatively humble beginnings and have worked hard to reach a certain level of financial comfort for my H and I and more importantly our sons. I am neither ashamed of what we've built for our family over the years NOR do I interpret who I am through ANY of those material gains. I am still the girl he married, all the same values, expectations etc...apparently over time, those characteristics have become something he distained. In this final attempt on my part to bridge the gap that has grown between us, I began to actively join in some of the things he likes. Over the past two months I've spent the day fishing off a pier with him, I've gone on several Harley rides for the day etc., and I truly enjoyed each outting. He came up with several "date" ideas that included a Harley ride but the trips were to crab and craft festivals or to a destination to enjoy a nice lunch etc.. So he obviously also sees the need to somehow blend the things that he enjoys doing with things that I would enjoy doing....and it's been a great experience for both of us when we have.
