Well I talked to a couple of different places so far. I had an aha moment and thought I would check and see about credit counseling. If I can get the payments low enough and he actually pays me what he owes me, I might be able to avoid him bringing me down. I will however be responsible for a lot by myself and that is pretty daunting.
My appointment is next Thursday and I will see what I am advised to do. How could I be so blind!! Well, I know, I loved him. But he is gone and I can't mourn his loss anymore because I have to get ready to tackle another mess he is forcing on me. Please let there be no more surprises.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I got a friend of my to give me the name of her L that she used so that I could get a second opinion. Gave him a call, he is semi-retired but he said it sounded as if ex needed an attitude adjustment. He had to refer me to someone that does bankruptcy cases since he may involve that and he said he didn't agree with my L parting advice. On to the next L for advice tomorrow.
Hope everyone is well.
I told this real life funny to LIS but I might as well share here. Last night I was wanting to catch up on some cleaning. So I get my Scooba(robot that washes floors really well) and put it in the bathroom and close the door while I set out to clean the kitchen. A few minutes later the kids are yelling for me telling me they can't get in the bathroom. Seems that ex in his quest for cough medicine for S13 didn't get the bottom drawer closed all the way and the robot pulled it out more. Enough to block the door. We were trying everything to try to go through this tiny gap. Took over an hour but I got the drawer closed enough to open the drawer!!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
kat, mC here. I don't think I've posted to you before; but your talk of BK and D struck a chord. We are going to have to do a BK, most likely. My BK L says to D first then I could file a Chp 7. But my D L says that I need to BK first because D debt settlement is most times not dischargeable. There are exceptions; but he says better safe than sorry.
So I'll be interested in learning what you find out from your consultations.
From everything that I understand in KS at least divorce stuff such as alimony and child support can not be discharged. We just have a lot of debt because we seemed to have a minor disaster every year...cars, furnaces, water heaters, windows breaking during microburst, 2 car engines that ex burned out since he doesn't understand how to take care of a car, 3 cars totaled (one was mine due to a dear running out in front of me on the interstate), his DUI, well you get the picture. Never seemed to be able to get a head. We are responsible for this. We did this and I will do what ever I can to make it right without sacrificing my family. I say I because I honestly believe he won't show that he really is a man who puts his family above himself.
I will let you know what I find out tomorrow but I may actually update on Saturday since we are Trick or Treating.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I will let you know what I find out tomorrow but I may actually update on Saturday since we are Trick or Treating.
One of these days I will update also. Busy Sunday after 4? Got to go to drill this weekend, so going to be down your way. It would be nice to put a face to the posts. That and I am sure everyone still wants to know if you are as sweet as your some of your posts. Take care and as hard as it is stay out of the stupidity.
Last edited by yenko69; 10/31/0803:15 AM.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
I have to head up North at 6:30 for book club but I could still meet you for a couple of hours if you want. Yes, I think it would be nice to put a face with a post too! Let me know. Now I have to go curl 2 young vampires' hair! lol
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I called the second Lawyer I was referred to. He said I couldn't get money from a stone...sounds like my ex. Basically he said there wasn't much I could do. Though I guess I have so many days from him filing bankruptcy to file an objection about some of the bills he is responsible for, getting discharged. Doesn't sound very promising. Looks like once again, ex is going to come out ahead, since L don't deal with morals and the integrity of a person.
I am so stressed and exhausted from this newest development. I feel as if I could and should sleep for a week.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
It is frustrating as all get out. I think ex just wants to get anything attached to me behind him and while I would agree that I look forward to him not being in my life, this sucks.
You guys know how much I loved him and fought for us and did so until there was no more reason to fight. I really had put the book of our life together away and now before I was wanting to, I am having to deal with more stuff.
He is so far gone and I hate to say, a lost soul. I doubt if he will ever fully get the ramifications of all that he has done to make our lives from 2 years ago on, so miserable. I will do all I can, but the army is growing more discouraged as we speak.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
He will eventually have to deal with all that he has done, Kat. He will. You may never know of when/how, but he will. I'm just so sorry that a sweet person like you had to deal with all of this. You are a strong lady and a wonderful mother and you will get through this. Take it day by day, that's all you can do. Lean on friends and family and God. They will be there for you.
