I obviously wasn't there, but I actually thought you handled it very well. You remained calm, which was key, and bounced the accountability back onto her, where it belongs ("this is your choice," etc.).
I wouldn't worry about the truth darts thing; I'm 100% confident that you'll have repeated opportunities to land ALL of those you felt you missed (and I loved the one you mentioned about being their mother).
I know this doesn't feel this way to YOU, but from where I sit, you really don't need to do ANYTHING right now. Just maintain your positions. Stay in the house, stay in the marital bed, and if she doesn't like it, she can leave. There's really not any legal or financial leverage she has on you right now; she has some EMOTIONAL leverage, but only if you allow her to push your emotional buttons, which you're doing a good job of avoiding for the most part.
You can't do this forever, but FOR RIGHT NOW, just HOLD GROUND. I agree with WDID, she came back from her trip all "loaded" with a gameplan fed by OM, and after a week's worth of secluded planning, this was the best she could come up with??? Bluster and a re-hashing of "you're controlling" and "I want a divorce" and "why don't you leave?!" ????
Pretty weak.
Stay in your house, stay in your bed, and maintain ALL of your positions. Do it calmly, avoid her attempts to pick a fight, and remain "upbeat Joe Friday."
btw, this will cause her to BLOW, so be prepared. The "court order to get (you) removed from the house" may be an idle threat, but as I've said before, she has no leg to stand on here UNLESS you get abusive. My guess is she tries to provoke you.
