"You're more likely to divorce if there are differences in your backgrounds, your likes and dislikes, and interests".
Thoughts on this illusion?
I've thought on this one a lot.
My husband tends to enjoy breaking the rules. I'll give you an example. When he was in his freshman year in college, he took his VCR and went running around at night. He knew anyone who saw him would think he'd stolen the VCR. A policeman found him, told him to go home, that if he saw him again, he'd arrest my husband.
I on the other hand, like to play it by the rules...I feel safer that way.
He hates rules that restrict him. I think rules makes us all safer.
So, a huge part of my journey on this path has been questioning whether or not I'd be better off letting him go and looking for someone more mature. I still don't have an answer.
What are some of the differences between the two of you that you thought were "cute" when you first got together, but you now think are rather "annoying"?! What do you think that their answer to this question might be?
The above example illustrates this, I think. Also, I want a family, white picket fence, 2 children, etc. He wants adventure and excitement and no responsibilites. He's 29 years old...and right now, he has no major responsibilites.
In what ways are you different from your partner? What things might you be able to add to their lives?
I think I add a sense of stability. I'd like to think that I add an element of fun thrown in with hard work. I'd like to think that he's impressed by my ambition and hard work.
In what ways is your partner different from you? What things might they be able to add to YOUR life?
He definately makes me lighten up and opens up a new world for me. I love playing computer games with him and have seriously missed that element of our relationship.
What are your strengths and your weaknesses?
What are their strengths and weaknesses?
I think I'm the turtle, slow and steady, and he's the hare, running around, getting into all sorts of messes. I think we balance each other out...but I'm not so sure that he agrees with me on this.
How might the two of you be able to combine your strengths, and come together to make a great relationship, to be a great "team"?
What actions could you take if you were to look back at what you were doing in the past, and learn how to appreciate those differences again? How would they know if you were thinking that your differences could help to draw you closer together, instead of driving you apart?
I think if I were to ask him for help in the areas that he's stronger in he'd know I appreciate our differences. I have also begun to do those things (on my own) that I used to enjoy doing exclusively with him.
