The book is pretty amazing. I try reading at least a chapter a night. I knew I always had 'chatter' in my head but now that I am trying to become fully aware of it and even controlling it is so crazy for me. I haven't mastered the buddy, I have had a little trouble actually envisioning someone else there but I have become more aware of the things that I do especially at work and how I respond to people I do not get along with. Everytime I am about to speak I try to focus as another person looking in and I realized that at times I am a bit bit@@y and could respond in a better manner that would actually help my day go along smoother also.
I was already enacting praying everynight and being thankful for the things that I want as though I already have them so when that was another exercise that was added to mix in last nights reading I wasn't overwhelmed!!!
I last heard from H on Tue night when I asked for the sign and nothing since. LoL. He gives, gives, then pulls back. I actually still feel a bit bad about telling him on Fri night still but I am sure he will get over it.
So last night I was off from Job #2 so I took the chance to go home and relax!! I layed on the couch and was catching up on all the shows I missed this week so far and I wound up knocking out. I was awoken by a text message from H askin gif I was working. When he found out I wasn't he proceeded to tell me his plans for the evening (180 for him & weird out of the blue)but that he wanted to come see me first before hanging with co-workers so I said ok and then after awhile of him not showing up I just texted him casually asking if he was still coming.
He texted back that he had decided to met up with the co-workers first have a few drinks and then planned on seeing me after but now he was drunk and not sure that he should come over. So instead of getting pissed off as I normally would I told him a little of what he was missing then said since he was so drunk I just hoped he got home ok. He kept texting me all night that this was torture because he wanted to come over so bad, I was so confused. He even asked could he still come over Fri instead. The weirdest thing is that he actually kept texting me while he was out with his friends which while he was living with me he never did!! I was lucky to ever get him to acknowledge my texts or pick up the phone when it was 'friends' time now he was out with them and kept texting me. I don't know whether to look at this whole thing as a good thing or a bad thing since he didn't come......
P.S. I continued reading the book last night and it helped to push out any 'evil assuming' thoughts.
I'd look at this as a good thing. Why not? After all, it's not as-if he just blew you off completely. In fact he even suggested Friday instead. Personally, I'd see the text messages as very positive, like actually connecting with him.
Who knows why he didn't come, perhaps it was just as he said, and he was drunk. The most important thing that I would take from this is the constant contact with you.
Sounds like you may possibly see him tonight though?
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
If this is a 180 for you, probably worth trying. Worst that can happen is that he ignores your text message.
It seems like he tends to respond to you in any case, so until and unless this changes, I wouldn't worry too much. I don't think you sound needy either, you are not asking for anything, or telling him you love him...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Thanks, then I will look at this as a positive. It is true he could have completly blown me off and never responded but he let me know what he was doing and made alternate plans plus maintained contact for a while even though he was with friends. I thought the text this morning was friendly and light. I haven't heard anything yet. He might still just be sleeping, doesn't matter, when he's ready to respond he will.
P.S. Yesterday I had asked for a sign again. I guess that's why I was trying to figure out whether it was good or bad.... But then again the only sign I asked for was for him to contact me. Hmmm...
Seems like every time you ask for a sign, you get one. This is great! As you clearly believe in this now, do you think you could possibly step up the request to something like a sign about what you should do next, or a sign of his intentions?
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
That is very true...I have gotten my signs both times. Both times I asked if there was still a chance of us working out that I would here from him before the end of the night...and voilà, I got a text both nights. Now i guess I have to try to be positive about us spending some time together and see signs of that...
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
H started texting me just a litle while ago asking if I dressed up for Halloween then just some joking around about how he never dresses up. Then he asked what time I get off of work tonight. Hmmmm so I guess he might be considering still coming over tonight.
I actually feel like a teenager all giddy. LoL. I have a really good feeling about this....maybe it's just all the positive thinking, I don't know.
P.S. I also just received an email from his favorite Burger joint for a free burger for his Birthday which is next week..so I forwarded the email to him and said "I guess we had these coming to me, but it is for your Birthday. " And under that I still have as my signature the promo for the business that he was starting....I guess I wanted to show him that I am stll supportive of his dream.
then said since he was so drunk I just hoped he got home ok. He kept texting me all night that this was torture because he wanted to come over so bad, I was so confused. He even asked could he still come over Fri instead. The weirdest thing is that he actually kept texting me while he was out with his friends which while he was living with me he never did!! I was lucky to ever get him to acknowledge my texts or pick up the phone when it was 'friends' time now he was out with them and kept texting me. I don't know whether to look at this whole thing as a good thing or a bad thing since he didn't come......
