Oh no!! I thought tonight was all planned for the drinks with friends!! Damn now only if you weren't over in Europe I'd offer to go for drinks with you just to get you out of the house for awhile!!
Is there anything else that you can do? Is there a Halloween party at a local spot that you might be able to run into a few people you know just to hang around for awhile?
And stop assuming his tone via text, you are putting negative thoughts into your own head!!!
I wouldnt sweat it too much... one night does not an R make and all that! Did you leave the note saying you would be out?
If nothing much materialises on IM, seeing as you said you'd be out, then stay at work a bit late.. go to a bar on your own at least and order something that will linger on your breath, so he knows you are not fibbing.. then head home kind of earlier than intended and make out like your friends at work are a bunch of lily livers and went home early. So at least you wont have totally renegaded on what you said and he will have that bit of space to relax.
Oh and thanks for being positive on my thread, I was trying to be pragmatic (he is with her now) and not get any hopes up and whilst you didnt get any 2x4's I was pleased to see a different perspective. And you could be right, because.. he emailed me and promised to call again! He heheheheee...
Al x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
You're right about assuming the tone over text. I need to stop doing that! I should, if anything, assume the other way and act "as-if" he has been missing me, even if he doesn't feel comfortably saying it or showing it.
Problem is that I'm a manager here, so it's sort of weird for me to just show up at things where there will be other employees. Yes, sounds weird but true. So, still waiting to hear back from one friend, but the reason I hadn't set anything up was that I was originally planning to stay at my friend's house tonight while she was out of town, and was going to be happy enough just relaxing there on my own.
I won't go home immediately after work or anything, but it is going to be more of a stretch now, me just hanging around the office late (if I don't hear from my friend first).
Now H may get on IM when he gets home, and/or send an email or something, likely in the next 2 hours or so. If he reaches out, I will play by ear what I do tonight. No matter what I don't want to get home and lie about what I've been doing or anything. If I do just stay late at the office, will probably say that I had to stay and catch up due to going in late this morning while I waited to see if the repairman was coming...
What I would really like from H is a gesture, even a minuscule one, that he wants to spend time with me. I am going to ask for a sign like this, ala Secret...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
I figure there's nothing to lose by being positive. I mean we are all disappointed anyway, so why dwell on this more than we need to...Have you ever read the Secret?
Just missed your response when I was posting to Sep. I did leave the note saying I would be out for dinner and drinks, but didn't give an expected time home.
I will def plan to stay at work a couple of hours late if nothing materializes on IM or with any of my friends. We have drinks here at the office every Friday evening in any case, so if I can find someone to pop down and have one with me, I can avoid going to a bar on my own, but can still have a drink before heading home...
I am really trying to focus on my own positives at the moment. I just need to come from a position of strength, which I hadn't been doing lately (other than when in Galway when we seemed like equals again...).
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Yes stay positive!! Ok good as long as there will be something to do even just a drink in the office before you go home even if it's a little earlier than planned. Hopefully you can convince whoever is there to still go for another drink at a local bar before heading home.
The final person I was waiting to hear from has now said no...
I really feel like I'm swimming upstream here with trying to keep myself busy...
As I said though, I will play it by ear...
UPDATE
As I was typing that, who should call but H...
He called from the taxi, ostensibly to ask about the boiler. Talked to him about this, listened to him complain about his flights, and mentioned that I left Halloween candy for him to give out. His response--"Oh that's tonight? I have an assignment due, what time are you going to be home so you can deal with it?"
So I said I had been planning to go to drinks and dinner, but it looked like it got canceled so would be home a bit earlier.
Feeling fairly confused now. it's clear that H does want me there, but "to deal with" the trick-or-treaters. Is this actually a sign that he wants me around or not?
So, I will go home at the normal-ish after work time since I said I would...I do think it's odd that he called me from the cab. Even pre-bomb he wouldn't have done this, would have just texted to say he landed or something. Weird stuff going on...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Just cross your fingers for me that there is no R talk tonight. He said repeatedly how exhausted he is so I don't think it would be a good time for it...
The only R talk I want is a bouquet of flowers and a card that says "I love you". That would do me for life right now...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
And just 1 quick thing I forgot to add is that I ended the call first. This was a big thing for me. After all he did call while I was at work. I let him know I was in the office, and said "OK going to let you go now," when there was a moment of silence, then "I'll see you later."
Pretty proud of this, even though it may seem like a small accomplishment...
Also, he hasn't gotten online yet this afternoon, a bit odd, but he may very well just be crashing from exhaustion.
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
