I have always been a big conflict avoider - been one to "go along with the crowd", "not make waves", "be the calm center in the middle of the storm." And as I have looked back at W over the years, she has also avoided her share of conflicts.
As to the anger part - W has always been more willing to display it than I have. Again, it's just the way I have always been - not allowing myself to get extremely worked about things but to be patient and allow problems to resolve themselves.
I would say that things have not gotten that much better over the past 18 months. W still avoids discussion of R outside of counseling and even then it's been kind of sparse. In the meantime I have been working on myself a good amount although the idea of Bob "having a life" still upsets W somewhat.
