Quote: My H is a BIG conflict avoider. He will do just about anything to avoid dealing with something. I think it is a very difficult thing for him, and probably rather frightening
This is my H exactly! Once he made up a story about a busines trip so he wouldn't have to go to couseling and deal with his feelings!
We recently agreed to meet about once a week to talk about the R (his idea...I think he really wants to talk me into a D...). He has cancelled twice so far. He admits that he is avoiding conflict but can't change it. I wish he would go to couseling but I know better than to bring that up right now! It is so hard to psuh them into dealing with things without nagging!
Quote: he always gives in to me, and backs down, and it still doesn't fix things.
My H said that too. Looking back, I feel that we "took turns" getting our way (pretty immature). I was the one that usually brought up the problem, but now, looking back, I became more of a conflict avoider just like him! UGH!!!
Quote: I think his leaving me is a big "stand" for him, and he probably feels very determined not to "back down" on this one.)
I feel this way too....how do we work around their stubbornness (spelling??) and their pride? I am trying so hard to show all teh positive changes I'm making and everyone says he will notice, but it is hard when you hardly ever see each other!!
Quote: I so desperately want to learn how to have productive ways of dealing with conflict with him. I hope it isn't too late.
My sentiments excatly!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
