Bettou- My H left 20 months ago...I had a difficult time doing exactly this...
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My insticnts are all to comfort him, I do not know how to detach and not seem like a cold bi*ch.
In other words, I didn't know how to detach without completely letting go. It is difficult but it can be done...you can care from a far. You have to come to grips that you can't fix your H. He has to work through this on his own and fix himself.
This can be a long and painful process but do try to keep your hope alive. Your H is reaching out to you in some very small ways...you have to let him reach out to you. The more you chase him, the more he will run.
So you want to know what you should do? Let him go figure himself out while you work on yourself. You GAL, detach, have no expectations and figure out ways to make yourself happy. By doing this you are not only giving him the time and space he need to figure things out but it is also an insurance policy for you. When you do these things you will eventually start to feel better and then little by little you realize you will be okay no matter what happens.
I have not been the best DBer by any means but I eventually did step back and give my H time and space. When I did, he sloooowly started to come toward me. We have been in C for 6 months now and I hopes (not expectations) that he will be moving home soon.
