All that you can't leave behind... (43)

[GFI]

Hi there Kalni - have followed your posts for a long time - but one thing that popped up recently has made me want to post to you :

"I was not interested at all in his work. In fact, since I partly blame his work for us getting here, I hate his job, couldnt care less.."

....how come you hate H;s work so much? What is it about that work? hate his job! Does he hate yours? if not - why not? You hate his...? What is it about his job you hate? Why do you not care less? Does he have the same attitude to your work?

When my S6 was born - i felt largely supurfluous to the events I was in the middle of - still had to go to work, but also part of but not part of all the wonderful things going on...

I can relate to this as a feeling I sense from my w:

- i blame my work now, a lot, for contributing to to the demise of my relationship/marriage -

I have to observe...that my urge/need to stay important in the world, my self worth if you like, while my w was caught up in raising my S6 - not saying that was right - far from it - just that this way of a H dealing with life is not unusual..was achieved through work.

I felt resentful of it...expected to bring home the cash, but not part of the new exciting world, wasn't allowed to be in ...things were going on in W's world...I couldn't participate fully in them - i ended up as an outside observer...

What I'm saying Kalni - is - if your h is anything like me - what he wants is for you to recognise his world - chances are - he's same as me - he has a pride in his job, he's probably very good at it and for him, it helps define him in life but at the same time he probably plays its significance down...

Have done thinking now....
Best- gFI