How SURE are you about things that are going to happen? Not too sure.
How much do you rely on the past, and the present, to predict the future? Especially about the "negative" things? I rely on the past and the present re: H actions re:OW. I do believe in a better tomorrow or I would not be DB.
How would you see the situation you're in from an outsider's point of view? What if you were a third-party looking at the events that are going on in your life? How might you see things differently? I have been told that, "If I were you, I wouldn't be able to put up with this. You are a much stronger person than I am."
If you were to read your story on the board like it was someone else's thread, what would you post to yourself? What advice would you give to you? How well would you take that advice? I would tell myself to back off, do a 180. I would listen to the advice and pray that I would not back down.
If there was no past history to taint your views of the possibilities of things that could happen in the future, what might things look like? Things would look great! We would have a wonderful marriage and take great care of our precious relationship and never take ANYTHING for granted.
If you were to put aside the "fact" that everything your partner is doing is meant to hurt you, what other possible explanations for some of their individual behaviors might you be able to come up with? That H does not want to hurt me. He is lying and being deceitful as to not hurt my feelings. He is trying to please everyone.
What areas of your relationship might it be helpful to "take off your blinders", and see things from a different perspective? To see that H has negative qualities and not everyone WANTS him. To not feel jealous about time he spends with OW/FF.
What does that dot that the teacher drew on the blackboard represent to you?! What dot?
What would your answer be to the "miracle question"? Your answer to how things COULD be, instead of the way that they are? I envision H being open and honest about his wants and needs. I envision us sharing and spending time together. Us looking forward to seeing each other and truly feeling safe that we can be ourselves.
If you were to start things over from scratch, with a clean slate, what would your relationship be like? What would YOU be doing to help lead it into the right direction? I would really listen to H. I would meet his needs even when it was hard for me and I would make sacrifices to make him happy and feel loved.
