Help me Act AS IF, Part 7: The Separation

[newnamenewlife]

Checking back in after about 5 weeks. It's such a rollercoaster. Sometimes I feel fine, confident, happy and optimistic. I joined a dating website just for fun and that has definitely been distracting--although I don't feel ready to actually meet anyone in person.

Other times, I feel dreadfully sad and lonely and like I have nothing to look forward to. I miss my H. I see him all the time, which makes it harder because I have to experience his indifference over and over again. I am not "standing" for our marriage anymore at all, but I am still heartbroken and feel betrayed/abandoned.

The impending holidays are really getting me down. H will have the girls for Thanksgiving and I have some invitations, but none of them seem appealing. I have spent the last 19 Tgivings with H and his family. He sort of half-heartedly invited me, but I can't imagine actually going.

So, there it is--some days fine and positive, others just miserable.