How to treat a WAW when I've stopped chasing her?

[Dash]

Alli,

I think I would tread ever so lightly. It could be that she's feeling nostalgic, or maybe she is feeling that you two can work things out, but be very, very careful here. You don't want to do anything to make her feel pressured or pursued.

Believe me, I know it's hard. When my WAW grabs my hand or gives me a hug I want more than anything to believe that she means it in the way that I want her to mean it.

I've found in my own situation that when I question my W about her intentions behind certain things it makes her become withdrawn and almost regretful that she did certain things.

Keep trying to build on the positive, and let her see that you're okay. Don't just pretend to be okay, honestly believe and know that you're okay and you will continue to be okay. I know it hurts, but one of the things that helps me the most is remembering the time in my life before I met my W and how I was then. I was okay before she came along, and while I love her, I know I'll be okay no matter how things go between us.

The toughest part to figure out is how to be the guy she fell in love with the first time around without pursuing her. The first time around of course a big part of it was the pursuit, this time will be different. I wish I had an answer for you here, but this is one of those things that I struggle with the most myself. At the same time, you do have the added benefit of already knowing her as well as having shared memories.

Doing certain things, behaving a certain way (positively) will remind her of the great guy she fell in love with in the beginning. But don't do it with the pursuit in mind.

Come here to vent your frustrations and seek guidance, but whatever you do, DON'T talk to your W about it unless she approaches you and even then, listen, affirm and be patient.

Hopefully someone with better advice and better experience will come along soon. I'm much in the same boat as you at this time, and my "advice" is coming from books, not what I've seen actually work.

Best of luck.

Dash