Last night I hauled some boxes out of the attic and W came running into my room to see what was up. I said I wanted to have all of my things in the one spot.
I then explained to her that as far as I am concerned the marriage is over and that I am very sad that we ended up this way. She seemed a little stunned and didn't say much. But then she seemed sad and hating the thought of me going. I asked her if it felt over to her and she said "no, not at all" - I replied by saying "Look W, we sleep in separate rooms, don't talk about the future together, you're not in love with me - in fact you're in love with someone else. How on earth can you arrive at that notion? The writing is on the wall.".
"I haven't seen OM for nearly 6 months now. Even when we were separated GH31, I could still speak to you and see you but when you came back to Australia and didn't respond to my emails I started to feel really lost without you...".
I think that going dark would make her world crumble, but I think she needs it whether or not we both have a future together. She even said "I frown upon you detaching and moving on in May, and running back to Australia. It didn't make me feel very secure.".
No? Well what about the fact that you, my wife, were living with another man - taking trips with him, f***ing him and falling in love with him? Do you think I felt secure?
Duh!
She does not remotely understand the gravity of the situation - I even joke with her when she's walking through the dining room not to bump into the proverbial white elephant which she seems to find amusing.
Anyway she slept in my bed again last night, cuddled me and chatted. She was also affectionate this morning before leaving for work.
I wish this was easy...
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
