I know how tough your situation is for you right now. With your H in the midst of a substance abuse problem, it can seem almost impossible to effectively work your DB'ing program. However, I think that you're starting on the right track!
Although there's not a lot you can do to force him to take care of this problem, what you can do is to keep making your relationship together a place to where he might want to come back to. Some place that's safe, and healthy.
This doesn't have to mean that you turn your back and just ignore his drug problems, and accept everything that he's doing. This wouldn't be healthy for either of you. On the other hand, it doesn't mean that you have to ignore, or not accept, him.
We would have a loving, trusting relationship, free from adultery. I would help this by giving my H what he needs, and help lead him toward my needs being met.
I think you're well on your way of being able to see what it will take to make this happen. Your working towards this, learning what it might take to make this happen, will be the most important thing that you can do to help lead him towards the path of recovery.
Hang in there, I know it's tough, but remember that we're all here to help you keep going when you need it!
JJ
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