JJ - I saw those two items that you highlighted from PNT and they really hit me between the eyes.
My mom often says, "The best predictor of the future is the past."
If I were to take this to heart, our M would have been over a long time ago. In my sitch, W has been married twice before. In the past, her ways for dealing with marital strife have been to put minimal effort into resurrecting the R, complain to whomever would listen about how H doesn't get it and find someone else.
I will say to W's credit, she hasn't headed for the hills yet. But she has admitted in C sessions that she feels stuck and hopeless that things will never get better between us. I know that I cannot change her mind about things - but I can influence by choosing how I live my life.
"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."
For me, it has been very tough to keep the changes going on my part since I tend to focus on the big things missing from our R instead of making note of the "little things." I often feel like I'm spinning my wheels in a mud bog.
